Milwaukee Journal Sentinel (WI)
Published October 24, 2004
College application ritual is wait, then hurry up
CAROLE E. BARROWMAN Special to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
Like many natural occurrences, the following ritual begins in spring.
"Have you started thinking about your college applications yet?" asks the parent.
"It's only May," snaps the offspring.
"But if you get started now you won't be so stressed in the fall and you can enjoy your senior year."
"Puhleeze. I have lots of time."
-- -- --
By mid-July, progress on the applications appears to have been severely restricted by summer. Undaunted the parent broaches the subject once again.
"Do you want to brainstorm some ideas for your application essays?"
"I already have some."
"What are they?"
"Have you seen my car keys?"
"You could always write about your trip this summer."
"That'd be lame."
"It wouldn't have to be. You could take a fresh angle."
The parent natters on. The college applicant burns rubber down the driveway.
-- -- --
Some time in August, the parent nudges the college applicant with another gentle reminder.
"I thought you were planning to finish your apps before school started?"
"Jeez, it's not even Labor Day."
-- -- --
In early September, the parent resorts to meaningless threats.
"You're not leaving this house until you finish those applications."
-- -- --
Then suddenly it's senior year. Homework and laundry pile up. Homecoming, soccer, and work demand attention. Reality dawns and stress settles in. And after too many late nights and too many bottles of white-out, the final exchange ensues.
"Maybe I should just take a year off."
"Over my dead body."
"You know, you're not being very supportive."
-- -- --
Despite the parent's well-organized plan, the college applicant has one of her own, one that eventually does get the applications completed, the essays and personal statements written, and results in the following tips for parents facing this same ritual next year:
* No matter how well-informed or good intentioned you are, your college applicant will ignore your good intentions and diss most of your information.
* No matter how late it gets in the application process, chanting the minimum wage while wearing a Burger King crown is not helpful.
* No matter how many college degrees you have, or how many children have gone to college before this particular offspring, you still know nothing.
* No matter how many times you are told to back off, do not. Even if it means sneaking into the offspring's bedroom in the middle of the night and proofreading her applications.
* And, finally, no matter what happens in the months ahead, keep in mind that although your college-bound child will leave her bedroom and your wallet empty, when she returns her life and yours will be enriched.